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Missdebrouille
Question de Missdebrouille


Un peu de lecture on aime ou pas mais on lit. Et vous vous connaissez le metal ,,?



Le guide du métal


Vous avez déjà entendu parler du Métal, et ses différents styles : des fois les gens se perdent dans les différentes classifications du métal, alors que c’est simple. Une petite illustration à partir d’un exemple connu : une histoire de chevalier qui doit combattre un dragon et sauver une princesse, vue à travers chaque type de métal.

HEAVY METAL

Le chevalier arrive en Harley, en pantalon de cuir avec les cheveux gras comme s’il ne se les était pas lavés de sa vie, il tue le dragon d’un gros coup de manche de JACKSON RANDY ROADS « à l’ancienne », Il commence à se désaper en buvant quelques bières, whisky/coca, vodka/orange et autres… La princesse commence à s’impatienter alors elle enlève le pantalon de cuir et la veste à franges, elle découvre en fait que le chevalier à un corps minable qui ferait rire un paralysé facial. Le chevalier, vexé, l’enc***, la prends, la retourne contre le mur, la défonce par les 6 trous… (Copyright: Le père noël est une ordure). Enfin après avoir baisé la princesse, il remet son pantalon de cuir et sa veste à franges, il donne une fiole régénératrice au dragon, se barre dans la forêt, et reviens quelques instants plus tard pour renouveler la même histoire…

SPEED METAL

Chevalier tue dragon sauve princesse la baise.

HARD ROCK

Le chevalier arrive en short avec une casquette. La princesse se casse dégoûtée.

BLACK METAL

Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon et boit son sang, so***ise la princesse et boit son sang, puis la sacrifie à Satan.

SYMPHONIQUE BLACK METAL

La même chose mais en finesse.

HAIR METAL

Le chevalier arrive avec une coiffure 80?s, envoie un baiser à la princesse et se fait croquer par le dragon.

FOLK METAL

Le chevalier arrive avec des amis flûtistes et violonistes, le dragon s’endort, il sauve la princesse et l’épouse.

METAL INDUS

Le chevalier arrive en porte-jarretelles, fait des gestes obscènes au dragon, et se fait jeter hors du château par la sécurité.


DEATH METAL

Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon baise la princesse et la tue.

BRUTAL METAL

Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon, tue la princesse et la baise.

GOTHIC METAL

Le chevalier arrive et tue le dragon. La princesse tombe amoureuse de lui, il l’épouse en grandes pompes, le roi lui donne son royaume, il est le héros du peuple, il se suicide sans qu’on sache pourquoi.

DOOM METAL

Le chevalier arrive et se suicide. Le dragon mange son corps et la princesse.

ET IL Y EN A ENCORE MAIS BON La suite BOF BOF BOF


Il y a
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4 ans
Réponses (4)
Missdebrouille
Reponse de l'auteur de la question :

J'ai honte mais bon

Il y a
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4 ans

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SOLEIL13
Très bien.... mais pour moi, sans grand intérêt. Je t'ai entendue, j'ai lu !

Il y a
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4 ans

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Missjacqueline
Pas à avoir honte j'aime bien

Il y a
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4 ans

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Claudine670
Je connais le heavy metal en musique, enfin si on peut appeler ça de la musique, du hard rock en fait, et je dois avouer que je n'aime pas du tout tout ce qui est de l'ordre de la culture métal lol , c'est mon fils qui aime cela !

Il y a
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4 ans

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